Put Em on a Stretcher
or a night out at Combat Princess USA
We’re deep in the waters of Mercury Retrograde, apparently the last time Mercury will be floating through the earth signs for a hot minute. In other news, I decided to go to my first wrestling event this last Thursday at the Vermont Hollywood in LA.
You’re a wrestling fan?
No, not really. Kinda maybe…I used to be a diehard wrestling fan in my youth though. I used to religiously watch WWF, ECW, and WCW, I used to buy wrestling magazines, I used to have the action figures, and I used to own the videogames. I thought they were modern day gladiators, childhood heroes, and the narratives were compelling until they weren’t. You see I dreamed of people like Rob Van Dam crossing over and fighting certain wrestlers and this dream came true. WCW and ECW were bought out by WWE and I slowly stopped caring.
I haven’t watched wrestling in years, but sometimes I’ll see intriguing clips thanks to the algorithm. And one day the tiktok algorithm got something right. They showed me a clip of an electric Mizuki, a cute yet petite Asian girl pulling off some amazing moves.
I never forgot about this girl and a few months ago, I saw an ad promoting Combat Princess USA coming to LA. I had to go. It was kismet. If
lived out here, I know he would have loved to go.This isn’t a long detailed Substack. Instead, I’ll show you highlights and random thoughts below. Make sure you play the videos with the audio turned on because it’s immersive.
The first match was a tag team match involving Max the Impaler & Pom Harajuku vs. Rika Tatsumi & Amira. Pom was scared of her hulking teammate, keeping her distance at times. A fun, intense, and exciting back and forth.
Max channels her inner rhino and spears ole girl.
Pom slams Amira using her hair.
Trish Adora attempts to submit Moka Miyamoto. This was a fun yet technical wrestling match that Trish won.
My babygirl Mizuki came out to wrestle Sandra Moone and I was extra hype.
The match starts off with some nice old school technical wrestling, but then…
…poor Mizuki gets slammed on the edge of the ring right in front of me. Sandra Moone claims that she’ll turn Mizuki into stardust. Thankfully, that didn’t happen.
That didn’t matter because Mizuki took home the win. Sadly, she didn’t attempt her whirling candy move, but I saw her flying stomps and her charisma was magical.
Hikari Noa & Nao Kakuta vs. Janai Kai & Shazza Mckenzie was a fun match-up. The Japanese duo loved it when the crowd chanted FREE WIFI!
Shoko Nakajima got the juice. Just look at that entrance.
Shoko Nakajima and Taya Valkyrie lock hands for a classic “strength test.”
Killer Kelly crawled towards Maki Itoh, initiating a cute off. Who can make the cutest poses and then proceeds to hugs. Unforgettable.
MK Ultra flirted with the ref about a million times and the ref acquiesced to a kiss on the cheek from both girls.
End of the show. You can actually see me in the right hand corner decked out in all black, clapping intently. This is one of the most fun nights I’ve had this year so I’m thankful I came. Shit’s too good and too entertaining to miss.
Currently Watching: Love, Death & Robots Season 3 & Lost Season 1. &
& Castlevania Nocturne & Invincible Season 2 & Onimusha
I finished Castlevania Nocturne this week and man is it amazing. I have played the game, but I couldn’t tell you how accurate it is. All I know is Warren Ellis version and this version are well worth your time.
I finally got around to watching Under the Silver Lake since the publisher of my short story collection The Hum of the World compared my short story “Cardboard Citadels” to it. I didn’t understand until I saw the hobo king, the overall mystery, and sexual aspects. It’s weird, Hitchcockian, and moody. And the LA elements are super accurate: coyotes, networking, weird convos, and a sense of surrealism hanging about the city. Prolly one of my favorite A24 joints.
Currently Reading: Full Throttle by Joe Hill & Cosmic Horror Monthly #2 & An Altar of Stories to Liminal Saints by Rios de la Luz and Pedo Island Bloodbath by Duncan Ralston
Currently Smoking: Baby Jeeters
Listening: The Danny Brown Podcast, The Higherside Chats, Agitator, Mutual Aberration Society, Victory Light, and Lost Xplorers
The Morrocan songstress Dina Ayada comes through with an airy yet catchy bop titled “Girls Cry 2!” Reminiscent of Rihanna, Tinashe, and Playboi Carti, but he somehow manages to carve out a pop space all her own.
Members Only Kid Trunks confidently raps over this triumphant beat and shows you he still got the juice.
The Aussie singer Lithe sounds like a cross between The Weeknd and Nav with his auto-tuned crooning and sadboi visuals. A nice lil vibe.
Young Harry sings about his nuanced bond with his brothers that any man can relate to. He really goes off about midway through, pain dripping under that black umbrella.
Until next time…
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This looks like an awesome time! I wonder if they'll do a show in Austin.