Exploring the EMDR Therapy Waters
My experiences with EMDR therapy, Free Books, The First One You Expect review, a return to Lent,thoughts on Longlegs, and Writing Updates.
I stumbled across Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy as a potential healing solution for anxiety here on substack and the concept resonated so deeply I knew I had to give it a spin. Prior to this, I’ve only done a brief stint of talk therapy and a ton of alternative modalities like hypnosis, reiki, and shamanic sweat lodges.
I discussed this potential path with my favorite person who’s an expert in the psychology space and she thought it was a good idea so I said cool. She also mentioned brain-spotting, which is something I want to do in the future. In the meantime, I downloaded the virtual EMDR app and signed up for the three-day free trial. They walk you through it, step by step where you answer questions targeting a specific memory and the negative thoughts associated with it. Then you use the eye tool, which replicates the same space you slip into during REM sleep.
A red ball bounces back and forth against a sandy background across the screen in a horizontal fashion while binaural beats play in your headphones. These engage both sides of the brain to rewire and heal the trauma you’re targeting.
I sit there for at least 20 minutes, focusing on the memory and negative thoughts/feelings associated with it all while the ball bounces back and forth. It’s a hypnotic and an emotional experience where my eyes tear up a bit and I get sleepy towards the end. Afterwards, I write out new affirmations that are designed to rewire the negative thoughts/associations. Then I fire up the eye tool again for ten minutes, thinking about the memory and positive affirmations.
I’ve experimented with affirmations multiple times over the years with minimal results. Standing in front of the mirror, listening to them before I go to bed, and playing them while I sleep. This is the first time I’ve seen them be this effective.
Does EMDR work? Absolutely. It’s still early so I plan to report back with more results in a few months, but for now…
Results after about five sessions so far:
-more focus, a deeper sense of being locked in
-feeling lighter in the physical sense
-a lot of tension released from my upper back (I guess the body really does keep the score)
-a couple layers of anxiety scraped out of my gut (if my gut jam-packed with anxiety at all times, a portion has been released)
-my head or maybe my mind feels like it has more room to breathe?
-more motivation/energy overall on the daily
-less fear
The First One You Expect
A gritty horror crime fiction hybrid novella detailing an independent horror filmmaker who gets caught up with a dangerous aspiring actress. Intense, compelling, and a great time. Knocked this baby out in a single read and shows Adam Cesare's range as an author and the last line is chilling. Probably my top Cesare book, which is crazy considering how amazing Clown in a Cornfield is, and another Broken River Books banger.
Lent
I haven’t participated in Lent in a while, but this year I decided to give up the word “trying,” pasta, and ramen. I’m big on manifestation and I’m working on being more conscious of the words I say aloud. My favorite person brought this to my attention so I’m working on “doing” instead of “trying.”
I love pasta and eat ramen a lot because they’re cheap and easy to make. However, these aren’t the most healthy food items so I’m working on expanding my cooking skills and exploring new dishes to whip up in the kitchen. So far, it’s been a positive experience.
Longlegs
Can’t believe I waited so long to watch Longlegs. I’m a sucker for intense atmosphere in horror flicks and this movie has it in spades. The highly intuitive investigates a series of occult killings that hit close to home in so many ways. Dark imagery, stark cinematography, and a tight narrative had me on the edge of my seat. I need to check out more Osgood Perkins asap.
Free Books
If you’re a reviewer or a curious reader interested in checking out my work, you can download an ebook for free on Book Sirens at the link below. The only catch being you have to write an honest review in exchange for the ebook. Book reviews are a form of social proof that really help drive book sales so this would be greatly appreciated.
The Frolicking: https://booksirens.com/book/LX6R3J0/G74HQ8Z
Bullet Tooth: https://booksirens.com/book/P5O2XYX/DOYE2XC
The Hum of the World & Other Stories: https://booksirens.com/book/ZE7IE83/RHHOY2P
Black Gypsies: https://booksirens.com/book/PNMBLCB/J5NJBI8
Writing Updates
I sent out a couple of short stories I’m pretty proud of recently. One got scooped up in a pretty cool antho. I’ll announce it whenever I get the green light, but man it’s a dope lineup, and a great editor.
When it comes to big body projects, I’m hopping between three different WIPs. Project Scarecrow Gaze is the main focus since I want this to come out this year and that’s chugging along slowly, but surely. Project The Darkest Book I Ever Wrote is coming along as well. I realized the lack of structure was slowing me down and I think I cracked the code. I can see the connective tissue, the ligaments, and the different rooms my protagonist must move between.
Project Gothic Fashionista probably takes up the most creative real estate in my mind and gets me the most fired up. Wrote a fresh scene yesterday. Also, thinking about getting a new editor for this one and potentially querying some agents. We’ll see what happens. The most important thing is getting the book done first and foremost.
Currently Reading: Only the Living Are Lost by Simon Strantzas & Cosmic Horror Monthly #3 & Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis & Crushing Snails by Emma E. Murray & Demons in My Bloodstream: Stories by Candace Nola & Where the Sky Meets the Ocean and the Air Tastes Like Metal and the Birds Don't Make A Sound by Mike Kleine and Dan Hoy & The Holy Bible & God’s Fare No Better (Advance Copy) by J. David Osborne
Currently Watching: Invincible Season 3 & Yellowjackets Season 3
Listening: Back from the Borderline, The Higherside Chats, Agitator, Victory Light
“OUTLANDER” is one of the standout tracks off Westside Gunn’s latest album. Beautiful horns, slick coke raps, a Rowdy Piper bar, and fashion reference lace this beautiful track. This feels like a celebration after years of toiling in the rap game. NY braggadocious rap at it’s finest. Inspirational type shit.
JPEGMAFIA seem to have achieved cult status with his brilliant album I Lay My Life Down for You. JPEG looks like he’s broken out of the matrix and invites all the metaphorical smoke here. Industrial production, confrontational bars, and analog aesthetic sets him apart from the pack.
Reason recently broke free from the TDE major label rap chains and has become independent. You can feel how invigorated he is by his since of autonomy and newfound freedom to release music whenever he pleases. Got me feeling fired up to write more.
Until next time…
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