Raising Hell: A Smoked out Reflection on the Hellraiser Franchise pt. 1

Art by Ahriman

This week I decided to do a deep dive into the Hellraiser franchise. I was properly introduced to Hellraiser sometime in my teenage years when I read Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker even though I knew about the movies my entire life. That slim novella cracked open something divine in my imagination and my creativity was never the same. I didn’t know you could do things like this in fiction. Of course, I enjoyed the first movie, but for some reason never watched the rest of the films. I’m rectifying this issue now…

What inspired this newsletter? The trailer for the new movie dropping next month from Hulu. Check it out below.

When I was a little kid, I hated horror films. They scared the shit out of me. I was much more interested in fantasy and sci-fi. For as long as I can remember, my parents loosely quoted the second Hellraiser movie to strike the fear of God into me and it worked every single time.

“If you lie to me child, you will experience suffering legendary even in Hell!”

Keep in mind, I was going to Catholic school at this time and going to black churches were old church ladies caught the holy ghost every other month. I was scared shitless, but overtime I learned to embrace the darkness of horror novels, horror movies, and horror comics.

Hellraiser is highly influential. I mean look at the Godhand below from Berserk. Imagine if we never had Cenobites, Berserk would look vastly different. If there was no Hellraiser, my writing style would probably be less flavorful, maybe even more mundane.

What follows below are my loose thoughts and immediate reactions to the movies.

Hellraiser (1987) — I’ve seen this multiple times and I consider it a classic. Makes me wish Clive Barker had the time and/or the greenlight from studios to direct a few more movies in the franchise 9/10

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 (1988)—So this was a fun flick. Lots of gore, lots of running down labyrinthine corridors, and dramatic flair throughout. Almost forgot how long opening credits are, but it made me somewhat nostalgic. I have loose memories of seeing parts of this. Maybe I had it on in the background on AMC while playing video games in my teens. It’s cool, campy, and tongue-in-cheek. I wish it took itself more seriously. And the way the Cenobites get killed off so easily was somewhat mind-boggling. I understand they get caught up in some existential moment of crisis, but these are masters of pain and suffering. I give this 6.8/10

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)— This one made me incredibly upset. Way too campy, the acting’s bad, and it feels like someone trying to imitate Clive Barker. They take all of these elements you feel like should fit into a Barker story, but the ingredients are wrong. Now, I did read that this movie was in development hell and Barker had limited input in post-production, so I know I’m not tripping about the quality. Doug Bradley does a great job, but the tonal shifts are all over the place and the Cenobites are caricatures of their former selves. Goddamn. 5/10

Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996) — Cenobites in space. Sounds like a badass concept. I wanted to like this one, but I was so bored. It’s ambitious and a cool concept following the toymaker’s bloodline in three different time periods. Doug Bradley does a good job, but that’s about it. The shock value is wearing off for me rapidly. I did read that there were reshoots and Kevin Yagher didn’t even want his name to attached to the movie as the director. I get it. This is a pretty terrible entry in the Hellraiser canon. 4.5/10

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000) — This was a refreshing entry into the franchise. I’m surprised by how much I like this one. I can’t tell if this was enjoyable because Bloodline was so terrible or if it’s genuinely good. I’m leaning towards genuinely good because I would watch this is worth a rewatch. The only thing I really disliked was the musical score; it felt so out of place in just about every scene. I feel like Inferno is what would happen if True Detective and Se7en’s cousin was to fall into the Hellraiser universe. Tense and hallucinatory. 7.1/10

I’ll try to watch the rest next week. Hopefully, the franchise continues a new streak of quality following the redemption of Inferno…

So there’s this giant volcano in Damt, Yemen I stumbled upon while doing some late night internet browsing. At first I thought it was the remains of a giant tree stump, but it’s a volcano. Part of me can’t believe it’s real, but you can look at the exact coordinates here.

On the writing front, things are steadily progressing. A couple of other writers asked me if I wanted to collab and I said yes, so the beginning stages of those projects are looming on the horizon. I turned in Project Hum last week so I’m waiting on notes for that. A lot of focus is going into Project Bullet Baby, and I’m very happy with the way revisions are going in the current draft. I feel like I’m on fire.

---

Currently Watching: Moon Knight & Ozark Season 1 & House of the Dragon Season 1 & Atlanta Season 4

Freddy Bagels @Skeprokz

@big_business_ Targaryen coochie has to be generational

Currently Reading: Ill Behavior by M. Steven S. & Berserk by Kentaro Miura & God Damn Chainsaw Murderer by Sean M. Thompson & Nudes by Elle Nash & Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Currently Smoking: 3C Farms

Currently Listening to: Black Tapes Podcast & The Danny Brown Podcast

---

“Indie top two, and I am not two, nigga.”

The head honcho of Awful Records dropped a new music video for I keep dat pump action and it’s great. Grindhouse aesthetics, dope production, and lovely lyrics. What more can you ask for? If you haven’t listened to Young Hot Ebony 2, you’re missing out.

The Arizona spitter goes crazy in one minute and forty seconds of straight fire in honor of Greedo. I’ll have to keep my eye on Yante…

This fire ass freestyle starts around the 4:06 mark and Freddie Gibbs raps as if his life depends on it. Shots at DJ Akademiks and R. Kelly, plandemic bars, and braggadocio raps. I’m hyped for his upcoming album.

“You start screamin for God when it’s beefin time, I’m confused, I thought you said you were on demon time?”

Papoose is casually driving around with this big ass chain around his neck, dropping bar after bar on this “God Did” freestyle. He right’s though, “Alphabetical Slaughter” should be in the Smithsonian.

---

Until next time…we’ll have more Hellraiser content next week. Hopefully, these movies get better. Six planets are in retrograde so take it easy…